Monday, October 24, 2011

Life with ADHD

I was first diagnosed with ADHD when I was 40 years old.    It has been nice being able to understand why I am like I am, thought that does not always help.   For the last couple of weeks my ADHD has been causing more problems that normal for my life.    I have a household and life full of half finished projects and it is all chaotic than usual.

One of the ongoing lifelong frustrations I have is the inability to finish tasks easily.   I have a bunch of house renovations that should be done, stupid little final bits of things like getting some boards that were refinished up around the windows in the house.    I have a desk covered in paper but I can not get it filed.   Even if I file it, my filing system is not consistent.  

What is it like for me?  I regularly take dishes into the kitchen but do not manage to get them into the dishwasher - I have no idea why that last step gets missed out but it often does.   It is one small thing that happens and is more likely to happen when I am stressed.

I have put myself in situation where I am supposed to be the organized one in my personal life and in my work life.    This causes me stress and that stress "enhances" the ADHD.

ADHD people can have trouble sleeping, stress increases this.  I have been going through weeks and weeks of very mixed sleep patterns.    Not enough sleep makes me hungry, low energy and unable to disconnect my ego from criticism.   My ADHD is also worse when I am low on sleep.

I am stuck in a feedback loop and I need to pull myself out of it.   I need more and better sleep, I also need to reduce the stress in my life.  

One solution to less stress in the short term is drinking.  I am very aware that this is not a good solution and one I have to be aware of in my life when I am stressed.   I need to make sure they this does not become a way I handle stress.   I would also never make use of sleeping pills or such.  

I need to deal with the stress is a good way.

I meanwhile have this endless list of good ideas, it gets longer everyday as ideas join the list faster than I can deal with them.   I need to be able to execute more of them, there are ideas on the list that unique and cutting edge but I need to do something more than just have the ideas.

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